18/09/24
bits and bobs!
1. i haven't done art in a while, felt like it's so complicated and there's no inspiration etc etc. but honestly just opening the box of paper scraps is inspiring enough to bang out a few collages in a few minutes. i just need to remember to do it. somehow i prefer to do it in my journal vs. in the dedicated sketchbook. not sure if it's because i want it to fit in among my "every day", or the sketchbook makes it official and intimidating, or i just really dislike that paper/format? a mystery.
2. as i expected! with testosterone i have developed enough muscle to be able to achieve the previously impossible: sit straight and breathe without tension or pain! still only when i pay attention, ie. in meditation. but yeah, it used to be a "pick two" situation, even when i've sat for months and months, half an hour a day. it never got better. and now, bam! unfair advantage.
3. i might have unlocked a way to finally be able to use the tarot of the origins. i've always liked the art but the lack of system kept giving me trouble. they were going for /something/ but it didn't seem to make much internal sense to me. since in previous attempts to make it work i chopped off all the borders including the numbers, all i have left to work with is the titles. and i've detached the titles from their original numbering, reshuffling them to fit my own numberology system better (now that i have one!)
literally of no interest to anyone but my thought process was: i start with birth, seems self-explanatory (their system had it at 9?) then age - the images give me that sense of maturing i associate with 2 (so keeping the 2 where it was). then spirit - not /very/ convincing but the images kind of match with the spontaneous manifestation aspect. then etching for 4 - having worn grooves into your life (they had etching at 1 and bones at 4). then stone as 5, as it was, for that external obstacle. keeping 6 at 6, the "rite" as a balancing, harmonizing activity. then at 7 mask instead of era - for that introspective shift in direction. what lies under your persona, or which mask would you prefer to wear? assigning 8 to bones, symbolically the title isn't the best but it feels... complete and "achieved", peak of the suit. at 9 - era, looking very OverMuch. and 10 remains as environment, the suit in a context grander than one life, becoming the background for another cycle.
i've done a few woo readings for myself and one more practical/down to earth exercise reading - it's looking good so far. maybe i'll post one here soon.