(everything below applies specifically to my laptop which is my main way of using the internet. aside from the backgammon which is on the ipad. i have no problem with my phone as i Hate using the internet on the phone, no problem).
what specifically do i *not* want, what do i want to stop?
how do i want to be able to use the internet?
what to do when i most rely on it, like meals or evenings when i'm tired? two different use cases:
eating: i feel it's akin to body-doubling? it's like i need something progressing to help me progress, even if it's eating, even if it's food i like. i could read, but it could get messy. i could play backgammon but that's not really in the spirit of things. if it's breakfast that could be "check mastodon" time, but what about other meals and snacks? is that what the 1 good video is for? meal company? ideally i'd just be ok with "being present"... i can see how it could be good practice, but i'm hesitant to just go all-in, for all the meals to now be an exercise in mindfulness or something. feels too much.
tired, want to relax: hmm some kind of craft prep-work that doesn't require decision making? or like, spinning? with music or podcast? reading feels like too much brain-engagement. this is usually an evening thing, so i can always try to do a final pass on some chores, they don't require much thinking. if it wasn't the summer from hell i'd enjoy just sitting out on the balcony. this problem will remain in wet or super cold weather...
a tarot reading on where to start indicated that my current "soothing" use of the internet is trying to paper over discomfort with something easy, where in fact i might do better to reduce stimuli at all, instead of adding comforting stuff. it would be more restorative to just rest, have a lie down, do a bit of meditation. or some other form of emotional regulation stimming, that doesn't introduce more to deal with. (i've made a new glitter jar for that!)
idk what would be easier: designing a scheduled routine, however strict and sticking to it? one and done? or: doing a gentle, progressive slide into the restrictions? what if: a tracker for all the things i'm allowed and then filling it in as i go along? i can try another 12 week project focused on that, with tweaks as i go along?
