how does it feel, doing less time-wasting on the computer? obviously the internet-time-wasting behaviors stem from boredom, but they also kind of produce more boredom? it's rare to read/see something that gets me to stop scrolling/watching and go do a thing. being off the Big Internet for most of the day does not in any way eliminate boredom, obviously, but it kind of lets it breathe. there's room enough to feel out what i /might/ be in the mood for, or just to try stuff. or use my tried and tested method of "i feel like crap anyway, might as well make use of the bleh and go do the things i don't like doing that must be done".
tarot's 5 cents: ace of coins, 4 of swords, 8 of coins - this experiment/this way of managing my internet use is giving me plenty of opportunities to rest and focus on work. yes, rest is big. sometimes i just lie around on the bed, enjoying nothing. i think my increase in posting is also that - there's room in my head for thoughts, they're not subsumed by the search for excitement and the mediocre sludge of internet stimulation. and i get to do more things, simply because i'm looking for ways out of the boredom. a lot of it is my hobbies anyway. yay for more hobby engagement, that was the point!
ok i admit - sometimes lying around on the bed, i do have my phone with me, but phone internet was never a problem. at most i'll read some fics or play a few logic games. i would prefer to read books but fics are less effort (already familiar with premise and characters) and sometimes you need a low-effort activity, reading's not a bad choice. and the games are just boring enough in themselves to not get consumed by. maybe i should peruse more of our switch library? that feels like Proper gaming, doing an intentional activity vs a time waster.
overall i'm not as miserable as i'd have imagined. there's enough to be getting on with. i'm more open to activities with partner or anything outside of the routine - it reads less like the usual disruption and more like an opportunity. but yes, without this softer "mush" activity, all Real activities feel very big and bold and a little intimidating at times, that's a downside. i ease into them by listening to podcasts, sometimes music but it does very vividly read as an emotional aid. i wonder if it will get easier.
