limiting internet - week 3 update

some observations:

• i still need to be Vigilant, i find myself reaching for backgammon outside the one designated period
• having the no/low-internet account results in the laptop staying "harmlessly" open all day and it makes me /feel/ online, somehow chained, don't like that (maybe it's akin to the phenomenon where people feel distracted just by the presence of a mobile phone, even if it's face down or far away?)
• even with allowed activities like listening to music, i might find myself browsing the site too long, it becomes a kind of scrolling substitute. i need to make sure to pick something quickly, and if i can't - just click whichever album in my favorites
• there have been a few instances of youtube during partner's meeting hours. there are few things i can do while wearing headphones in the bedroom, and often it's still too noisy/distracting to focus on reading or writing (words in general), not to mention meditating or anything of that sort. maybe if i used noise cancelling headphones? but then they always need to be charged and it's such a bother, having Another Peripheral to pay attention to and maintain. might be worth it if days of longer meetings return (so far it's usually 1 meeting at a time and it doesn't feel too bad to watch A Video, but i wouldn't want to spend hours that way)
• i'm happy to say i still don't really have a "cheat" day, as in one day to do whatever online for however long (if just having the laptop open all day feels Bad i imagine this would feel even worse)
• but i don't think i'm ready for a regular no-internet/no-screens day yet

considering a tweak: what if i did all my selecting for the day - reading, music, videos etc - in the morning, moved those tabs to my "offline" account and treated that as if it's stuff i've downloaded for the day? these are the "allowed entertainments"? on one hand it would further validate having the laptop open, so that's a negative. on the other hand - it might prevent me from Random Backgammon or reading fanfiction on the phone? just having something more substantial to engage with instead, while not sucking me into algorithms... i can also simply practice keeping the lid closed and only opening it when i'm noticing a seeking behavior. (and then the evening hour of internet could be more free-form, just for relaxing?) not sure yet, seems like a lot of planned screen time. but maybe it's better to have Quality time on the laptop, than bullshit time on the ipad? might try it next week.

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