05/11/24
things are coming together, even the disgruntlement seems to be serving its function very well. i was mostly feeling a little stagnant with all the tarot projects - how come i'm doing so many different things with my special interest (DROPM78, tangled blessings, Lisa Papez's book, waiting to be done with that one to be able to start using my handmade journal for the shadowplay) and yet feel so bogged down? it's all jobs and no reward. add to that the "staying off the internet" which requires more activities to be introduced elsewhere. and the recent bright flare of an old special interest that fizzled out just as quickly as it arrived. it was a rush and now that it's gone i'm feeling even more bereft.
i was inspired by Raecine's recent video about daily practice (linked at the end). i've never been able to maintain any such thing, it seemed pointless. but with the recent changes in my spiritual life/understanding of reality it might be a good time to try again. it will help me set a focus for the day and allow me to play with a variety of decks. so both fun and immediate.
and it inspired me to change the whole layout of my daily journal/planner, so that's another breath of fresh air! it's now two columns - the one on the left further divided into a top and bottom part. a brief summary of the cards' message up top, then a task list for the day underneath. the right column takes over the catch-all/general thoughts function of what the whole page used to be: ideas, gratitude, logging activities/whatever was special/different about the day etc.
---
in more tarot thoughts: i had some realizations about my relationship to decks. or rather - that investigation is still underway. someone was suggesting doing that minimalist thing, where you pack everything away and only pull out the thing when you have a need/want of that specific item. that would not work for me re:tarot. whenever i'm tired of/uninspired with whatever deck i'm using all that i know i want is "not this".
additionally that led me to realize most of the decks i actually like i've only ever used in one prolonged burst, for like a month after getting them. very few of them come out for repeat performances (i mean i try and rotate them in and out but it never sticks for so long. and again - it's not like i reach for that specific deck, more like i feel like i should get more use of them so i give them a shot). if you're curious i can only list two that make regular but spontaneous reappearances off the top of my head - the thoth and the drowning world.
there are decks, however, that don't even get that initial burst of use. i get them, flip through, do a reading or two and decide to put it aside "for later". whenever i rotate them into use it's exactly the same thing - i flip through, appreciate what attracted me to the deck, do a reading or two, and again decide it's "for later". maybe those should just go? when is it "later"? is it worth hanging on to a potential/eventual positive outcome for an unknown number of years? or does that once-in-a-while glance already serve a function? perhaps of a palate cleanser? something i'm not used to, to shake off the funk? or remind me exactly why i actually do prefer the decks i'm using, even if they feel a little boring after a prolonged period of use. those are some questions i'm still pondering.
---
youtube link to "spreads for building daily practice" from owlmoon513